hisashiburi

man I hell forgot about this site. I guess I've just been too busy updating everything and everyone else, I haf neglected this one. school was just creeping up my ass.

updates in my life? so much shit has happened, and it's so overwhelming just to type it all.
Though a brief summary include the following:

• relationships & sex

• meeting guys burning bridges with them, controling strings and being hurt by them.

• assignment stress; being praised by my tutor in front of my whole class for one of my history essays during the only day i decide to SKIP the freaken class. Sigh.
• passing my assignments! Those death essays were out of the way and passed too.
• exams! man they were stressful
• passing my units for this sem!!! way to go mee. not the kinda grade i wanted to get but meh no fails~

I finished this semester of university and from the 25th of november, I officially became a bum.

That's right, no job, no school. I just sit around waiting until I start school in APRIL.

it's a long way away right?
hahah.

i love such a cruisy life as my own.

Anyway I think I will be resuming work next year, it's just for this year I want to relax and thing about nothing but myself and ways to further my R&R lifestyle.

the mysterious guy

There's this guy at uni I want to know!
He's my height and very manly~

Though I don't know if he likes guys or nething, because truth be told he doesn't come off as the guy who likes guys. No way in a million years.

but why does he keep exchanging looks with me?

[background story]
I was in the university library until midnight last week, and he was there though he had his back faced towards me (a very hot back mind you). He kept turning around 'subtly' though there was really no reason to since I was the only one sitting behind him (maybe around 6/7 meters away from his back). I thought it was strange he kept turning his back at me.. maybe there was something behind me, which I kept trying to check - nothing though. Also I'm visually challenged (wearing glasses because im short sighted) though at the time I could make out he was turning to face me since my vision isn't THAT bad. I kept thinking to myself, maybe it's my vision that was playing up. So in response to that thought, i put some glasses on. It only just reinforced the fact that he was looking at me, with a few more glances.

The jay chou lookalike was around trying to catch my attention i presume but I was so uninterested in him at this moment.

In my uni, the library closes for a few minutes and then reopens again so everybody has to exit and then re-enter.
I exited.

I waited near the door, with my back against the wall reading a newspaper about the party scene.
This guy came by soon after and stood near me. Not only did he do that but he wanted to make himself noticed by me, so he intentionally walked around in my 225 degree circumference of personal space. Little did he know I saw him from a mile away (with my shifty eye).

I stopped reading the newspaper and pretended to type a text message on my phone. He saw me so he pulled out his phone and began to call someone. Then we both entered.

I kept wanting to go to the toilet near him to get a glimpse of him. Suprisingly!! He kept wanting to go to the toilet near me, when there is clearly a toilet more closer to him. Coincidence? I don't know..
//end summary

Yesterday I tried to explain to my best friend what he was doing. I did it by reenacting the scene in the computer area of the library. So yeh, i reenacted the scene.. and maybe I was a bit loud - or she was, but anyway! the message got through.

We finally got up to leave,
when I never noticed that

two rows ahead of me, THAT mysterious guy was there.
I couldn't see him because a white wall thing was covering his face, but he raised his head above and made sure he saw me.

like no way............ maybe he caught me reenacting. Why did he raise his head at me instead of looking at the computer? did he want me to acknowledge that he's there, or that he sawwwwwww the whole reenactment.

Who are you mysterious guy and why are you teasing me!!

Everything is shitting on me at once.

I'm just not handling the stress very well.

T_T

I broke up with my boyfriend 'cause of a lot of contributive reasons.

Yes he was loaded..

but it seems I'm not that materialistic enough to stick by him. (wth)

Yet I'm that superficial enough to not be attracted to him.

sigh :(

however the ex-gf and I are patching up things.
i know.
i'm complicated right?

School is just crap. so much to do so little time to do it in.

I ain't the type of guy to put up with peoples shit--or tolerate attitude

which is what i've been doing a lot..

Ima turn super saiyan and bust a cap in somebody's ass soon.

.. but for now i'll just stick to listening to classical music to sooth my soul.


in depressing moments like these, what do I usually do?

make faces.

Cleaned my room!

Not much on todays news.. I cleaned my room and yeah here it is now ! Hora!


I was tired of sleeping on my clothes every night, and the piles were so high that my back was all weird by the end of last month

Car stuff

Today my Audi a4 got a car CD player and my other car I drive for university purposes got one too!

I'm uber thrilled about the progress of both cars

(and also my ability to degrade it with scratches! ugh!)

My dad put in a red LCD lit stereo in the Audi, which matches the whole theme of the car.

It even has an AUX! (for my iPod)

Unfortunately my uni car has no aux input.
However it does has a new stereo speakers to match :D

zomg I'm thrilled :D I've been sitting in my car(s) for the past hour just fiddling around with it and other stuffs init.

obsessed or what :/

__

and my new obsession is that..

I MUST HAVE THESE!

:(

X-ray scan.

..

I just came back from getting a chest x-ray scan.


Something is going down.


Sounds pretty serious huh.


well..




Not really!

The guy that was doing the x-ray scan was so hot.
Damn his hot asian ass in that business attire.

I was dazed with his face while he commanded me:

"Remove your shirt! take off any necklaces"

Y-y-yeeSSS SIR!

and then he pressed me against some board;

raised my arms up from behind;

rotated me a bit more;

asked for more shots;

sent me to the desk.

:)

As long as people have friends to share their sadness..

..it becomes easier to bear

A guy who can make things happen?

I asked for a job from my boyfriend, for the two months I will be staying with him in his house around December. Since I'm not familiar with the state he lives in nor am I familiar with ANYTHING there, I thought it was going to be impossible. I said it's not going to happen.. lol.

I had the same feeling with the airplane ticket and he ended up doing it! Got me an airplane ticket way under half price of the normal fare.

All he said was "that can be done." and what do you know? the next day I get a forwarded email with the conversation that he is having with some chick (his friend) working in the recruitment agency where all i have to do is email my resume now.

:O connections. amazing. <3

i love my boyfriend

I met my boyfriend and for 4 days we had nothing but awesome memories. Though now I am here alone, I start to miss him more and more. We've been dating just over 2 months and a few days (i dunno how many days lol need to ask him about that).

When I was with him, I felt so secure. I sure felt secure at that moment and security for the future. Doesn't everybody want that? I know it may seem silly but yeah I've always been afraid of getting dumped. I'm always the one being let go if I love to much. And my usual (rather abnormal ) counter - break up with them first. Probably explains why I've never been in a relationship for longer than a month. However this is not the case anymore. He loves me for me and with each day I grow to love him more and more. However the timezones MAY be a bit difficult to work around, he calls me the same time his time (earlier for me) only for me to fall asleep earlier. That's the kind of adjustment i've made for this guy.

You know not one moment did I cry or look sad in front of his face. I thought to myself, maybe i don't really care? I kind of worried myself, because truth be told... I do care! It's just my feelings were hard to express when i was with him cause i felt there was nothing to worry about. On the plane back home and in the car with my best friends.. I just let it out. I cried like there was no tomorrow.

I have so many memories of him. How slightly chubby he is (lol) or us holding hands while I tore the streets with the rental car he got for me; Waking up to each others faces, and our hands still interlocked (wth?) haha; Him making me dinner with a pie that said my name on the front and taste delicious; grocery shopping while I sit on the front of the trolley while he pushes me around through each isle; and how when I ask him questions, he has the answer to everything.

I miss every time I had with him.

and then the radio here played a song that made him cry in the car on the way to the airport. I know I should've been in the same mood he has but my hand was busy putting fingers up at people on the road and swearing at them through the window. His town sure has crazy drivers that burn the fire in my eyes

"Now don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.."

My car, and its series of unfortunate events.

Yesterday I went to university to study from materials only obtain-able in a specific section of the library, and no they don't allow you to loan it. ugh so I basically spent most of my day stuck in this division, trying to take down as much notes as possible.

Afterwards I went out with some friends for lunch/dinner then movies..

I couldn't believe it. I got home and I was on the phone to my boyfriend..... then I got a text message on my phone but didn't realise it until I got my phone.

"I've been trying to call your phone like 20 times. um don't get mad at me.. but.. uhh.. can you check your car-seat if there are any stains??"

I was telling yoshi, hang on I'm gonna go check my car and yeah.. you could have probably guessed my reaction. There's blood on my carseat. :( I went through a range of emotions before settling down to the can't be bothered one.

I just couldn't believe she left period stains on my car seat!!!!

omg and my other friend in the backseat.... oh don't get me started with him.

We went clubbing one night and he got sooo drunk. His name is too long so yeah abr. as hikoki. He kept apologizing to me in the car. I was wondering why are you apologizing?? I took him home. Then I threw my takeaway on the passengers seat, it had soup it in. I thought I just spilt the soup when i went to go check it but..... the seat was wet in places that the soup could never get to. fuck. He pissed on my car seat. You don't understand how unbelievably grossed out I was.


WHY!!!! WHY MY CAR!! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE MY FRIENDS :(

Quiet Monday

Here I am alone in my house on the computer while my family went out to play sports together. Kind of sad but it's the sacrifice I made to fly, which means I have to cram everything before I leave.

Anyway I leave you with my favourite actor, in his star performance.. LOL.

enjoy~

A Fatty Saturday

Just before I go head over to the gym in the other room I thought I'd jump on quickly to write. It never came to my mind. Here I was at home playing Captain Planet with my older sister, using our different WPI (whey protein isolate) containers as our individual power sources (since hers is pink and mine is black) and I completely forgot to call back my beloved. I feel terrible. I hope he knows I love him lots :(

I went to the toilet earlier and I told my baby that I would ring him back, but as soon as I got out of the toilet i got screamed at to get ready for church by my dad and he rushed me to drive there etc etc all in all I didn't end up calling him back.



__

ANYWAY last night I went clubbing with my uni friends. It was really fun and all until some girl came up to us. She then started smiling and talking to one of my friends which is a girl.

"Hey there! I've seen your face online before. Did you use to go out with E?
"Ah yeh.. who are you?"
"My name is (Asshole). Why did you break up with E? He's a good guy."
"Things didn't work out.."
"You know online your face looks fat/chubby but in real life it's actually slimmer than I expected"
"Okay."
"and is your friend *points to my guy friend* gay or something cause' he keeps looking at my friend.."

I didn't actually know this was being said because I was standing a few meters away but from the look of things, i didn't think there was a problem because this random girl was smiling. Upon asking my friend later I discovered that she said this and I was so angry!

Stupid teenibopping girl. I'd bitch slap her face with my ghetto booty.

I was pretty upset about it, even if it didn't directly involve me.

My best friend called me out for lunch the next day and I told him about the whole incident. I asked him if he knew her and he said he does. Then he further added that she actually went on Australian idol and got shut down by the judges. I thought my best friend was just lying but I searched it up. LOL. I felt pretty good seeing her get rejected by the judges, and they did not say nice comments at all on national television.

:) That is all.

Flying

I can't believe it was only booked a few days ago and I'm leaving in less than 5 days to go see my beloved. I know I just mentioned it recently but the excitement is only registering now!!

The last time I went on a plane trip was this February. That was one long-ass plane trip. 10 hours flight minus waiting time and customs etc.

It brings me back to the day when I would fly to the Asia with my family, and while my sister was sleeping, we would stick on her oversized boobs two circular shaped 'Wake Me Up For Meals' stickers. It was amusing since she had her head rested back and mouth hanging wide open at the same time.

_

Yakuza: They are so cool.

The boys and I from uni are planning to go karaoke and dinner the day before I leave, but we thought we might spice it up a bit. Takeshi, Kenshiro and the other boys from my crew are planning to rock up posing as Yakuza. Though of course not like those guys above. They have some yakuza garments.. and not just those crotch pouches. I'm hoping the guys actually have proper materials that leave more to the imagination.

Random but hey, our lives can't always be so linear.

Mornin' kicks, exams and the like.

On the unrelated note of the post's topic, I just ate my usual bowl of cheerios for breakfast (see right). However somebody has been eating them yet refusing to purchase the actual cereal. That my friends, we call in economic terms - the free rider problem. Those bastards. I'm not awake early enough to catch the culprit, but I suspect it's one of my siblings since cheerios is too healthy for my parents liking. It reached the point where there was nothing left in the box and I was left to eat the remnants of cereal that was found not in the plastic bag, but underneath the bag in the box. That's right I ate that type, and let me tell you eating stale cheerios is like having a bowl of depressios. No milk was required for the cheerio circles to have the same texture as if milk was added with them, that's how it tasted like in my mouth.

_

Anyhow my exam times have been recently published! Horah! My last exam is on the 25th of November, which gives me no school until March the 25th (that's when I'm suppose to book my airplane flight anyway). lol It's bad enough that my degree is that equivalent to a holiday but now I have some sort of extended holiday. That's almost 3 complete months of nothing! I should really get a job to fill in the time, but my parents told me not to work and just relax. There must be something I can do.. maybe start an online caming pay-per-view portal at home so I can at least make my time productive? Maybe not. I'm so grateful that my exams didn't turn up on the same day as each other and that they start in the afternoon. I would have been so sad - it would've felt like it was high school again or something along those lines and yes i was the unlucky one who'd have 6 exams in the span of 3 consecutive days.

_

I just received the airplane ticket in express post but unfortunately they shoved it in my mailbox hence why it's soaked in rain water from the rainy day we had yesterday. Stupid postal service and their imcompetance when they deliver stuff here. An example would be when my lover bought me an iPod touch16gb, sent through express post platinum (guaranteed next day delivery) and they were so useless, the people delivered it to my house at 5:45PM!!! 5:45PM. I called the postal company, who redirected me to the courier company, who then tried to track down the driver. I asked them, "Where is my parcel? I followed the tracking system online and it says it was on the courier service making it's way here. Yet it is almost 4:30 yet nobody has arrived." The lady was kind enough to contact the driver and confirm he said he would deliver it by 5PM. So I waited for it and it didn't arrive. I called back in fury (eyes enraged with flames, provoked furthermore by my angry lover on the phone):

"WHERE IS MY PARCEL? I was told that I would receive it at 5oclock yet nothing has arrived."
"I can't contact the driver sorry.."
"This is pathetic! Your own carrier service can not find your own driver! I was told over the phone half an hour ago that the driver would be here by now but no he is not and I was not given warning that he would be late."
*more arguement*

5:45 approaches, and a delivery man comes. Of course my anger turned to happiness as I welcomed the delivery man and signed away before letting him go. Anyway my <3 got a refund for the delivery, and it eventually arrived here so no reason to stay angry.. I don't want more grey hair.

The important part is, I got my plane ticket in one piece. :D

Flowers

My oldest sister got a bouquet of flowers from her new lover, but she left it in my car. We enter to find my younger (but older than me) sister seated comfortably on the sofa, where my ecstatic older sister jumps for joy as she spreads the good news.

Older sister: Guess what!! :D

Younger sister: What is it?? :O

Older sister: Wanna smell my flowers?! :D

Younger sister: :( Ew.

I don't think she knew that there were really flowers there. LOL

[ex]Crush

I know over the span of my university life, I've had several crushes. One of which is this guy I met in my finance class, during my first year (who's actually doing law). To be frank, I think he's so hot. I'd let him melt in my mouth, or vice versa.

I don't know if he still remembers that day. It was one of my most busiest days this semester; having several different classes back to back and being surrounded by an array of new hot guys with each class. The day goes so quickly when there is so many of them, and I think I had begun to hallucinate at the time too, but getting back to the point.. There was a 10 minute break where I made my way to the food court to get something to eat. Then when I was walking back to the class in a moderately fast pace, there he was making his way to his next class. He stops and stares at me for a second. I squinted while stuffing my face with a kebab, trying to focus my inferior vision to identify this mysterious figure. Yes! It was him waving at me with big grins while with a random friend. I initiated the conversation.

"Late for class?"
"Yeah. Criminal law lecture. Sucks."
"Sweet."
"Hey did you bring your DS?"
"No.. why?"
"I wanted to get that Snorlax off you."
"Even if I had my DS I wouldn't give it to you.."
"Why not!"

I don't know what I was thinking after this point but it must have been the dosage of hot guys plus him which caused me to behave somewhat irrationally.

I looked straight at him;
began to raise my index finger;

pulled down the skin below to eye to partially reveal my eyeball
and

I poked my tongue out at him.

Then ran away giggling.

Moments after, I bumped into this half Singaporean/Scottish guy (man this guy is incredibly good looking). He broke out into conversation with me, asking why don't I come to play xbox360 at his place or something like that. However I was so distracted with thoughts of my crush, I couldn't respond and just gave him hand gestures indicating 'some other time'.

What did I just do! Why did I just do what I did? He's gonna avoid me now. His friend was next to him too! What's that guy going to think? What are they going to think together about me? :(

This was probably the crappy thoughts that kept running through my mind the whole time in the class I rushed off too. I was so late that a small classroom of 30 students plus tutorial teacher glared at me as I awkwardly sat in the middle of the rectangular positioned desks, without a desk.. on a lonesome chair. Paranoid as I was, I sms'd him.. I got my DS, you want your snorlax? Which then I received an automatic reply I'll come meet you after class where we bumped into. We met up.

That was a big relief since it was all good.


AND NOW TODAY he was trying to be cute to meh! I couldn't believe it.

I was in one of the more isolated areas of the uni library studying by myself on a huge table surrounded by bookcases. I had just reached my focused-mode; hard to get in but easy to fall out of. All of a sudden I hear my name being said. I thought I was just studying too hard that it caused me to be slightly dillusional but after carefully listening to it, my name was really being whispered. I look around to see where my name was coming from, and I see this guy standing behind the bookcase but peeking his head in between the books. He gave me a peace sign and smiled, then made his way towards my table. "I knew you'd be here!" he whispered. I was just surprised, does this guy stalk me or something? We talked for a bit before I indicated to him that I wasn't interested to continue the conversation and it took him a while to get the message!


That was probably my highlight for the day I suppose.

Flirtatious

Lately I've been practising how to be a flirt. lol.

Sounds ridiculous right? I usually do it in the cafeteria at uni and yes, I do get discounts from the 30-some year old ladies. $1 or more, it's better than nothing. They even break into conversation with me, where I have to shortly decline the chat in favour of seeing my friends.

I think it was last week or something where I had to purchase my new contacts, and I was being my very provocative self again (lol) you know, doing the whole she-bang: smiling, tone of voice, suggestive body language and such. It reached the point where she was trying to be cute to me by making me pick a colour from the top of my head, and she would give me a bag of that colour to hold my supplies. Later on I was standing outside the store with my friends, and they were like "You need solution man!" but me being the poverty stricken boy (who used parents health cover to claim 6 months worth of free contacts) had to decline. I don't know what happened but the woman who was working in the optometrist place came running outside to give me like $20 worth of free solution.
"Take this just incase Ren!"
"Are you sure? Here's $20"
"No need :) *teheheh~*"

..yay to me.


Second most recent incident was 2 days ago. My mom told me she put money on my eftpos card so I made my way to the fuel station to fuel my car with my brother, to go pick up my oldest sister (who lost her license and she was all over the news about it) from work. I put fuel in and went to go pay for it but my card declined!! omg I didn't haf any money to pay for it. I told the guy there, I'm sorry I'll haf to wait for my mommy to get here to pay for it since I don't have any cash on me. He looked at me and replied "hey, don't worry about it. Today I'll pay for your fuel okay?" I looked at him, smiled :D followed by a wink and said thanks!

boooyeha! My bitch-ass is paying for me.. slowly. lawl.

If only it were possible to get myself a Mercedes slk with it.

lol. Anyway,

people are just so nice these days.

Current stance

I know I should be content with my life but for somehow there's still something that's bugging me. It's probably just one of my normal mood swings I go through, though I shouldn't think about it too much..

My life at a standpoint:

- I've been awarded a scholarship by the Japanese Govt and have been invited to attend a uni in the Kansai region. At the moment I'm struggling to fill in ALL the application forms omg there is SOO much document work, medical checks, visa applications I'm so confused.

- I met the man of my dreams, from what I've seen so far we're very alike and such. I'll be going to meet the guy I have been seeing for the first time. YES I know I met him online (most people think it's sad) but I really feel there's a strong bond between us two. He calls and messages me every single day and morning. He paid for everything (including the flight) to go see him. <3

- My parents bought me a new car for my birthday. However yesterday I kind of scratched it. It's pretty disappointing to see the depth of the scratch. How am I going to afford to repair an audi!

- I love my two best friends (bff) very much. Even though I haven't spoken to them a lot recently, I still try my best to keep in touch. I heard from my girl best friend that my guy best friend was vomiting his guts out last night and only she was there to help him. I'm so sorry for not going :( but I love you both.

Introduction

Here is a blog about my most personal thoughts, not sugar coated.

Mainly for personal reflection, but open to suggestion.

I know I always start a new fucking blog, but this time I hope to use this more..

The other blog(s) had become to selection of detail, that kind. lawl. yah

Anyway :)