i love my boyfriend

I met my boyfriend and for 4 days we had nothing but awesome memories. Though now I am here alone, I start to miss him more and more. We've been dating just over 2 months and a few days (i dunno how many days lol need to ask him about that).

When I was with him, I felt so secure. I sure felt secure at that moment and security for the future. Doesn't everybody want that? I know it may seem silly but yeah I've always been afraid of getting dumped. I'm always the one being let go if I love to much. And my usual (rather abnormal ) counter - break up with them first. Probably explains why I've never been in a relationship for longer than a month. However this is not the case anymore. He loves me for me and with each day I grow to love him more and more. However the timezones MAY be a bit difficult to work around, he calls me the same time his time (earlier for me) only for me to fall asleep earlier. That's the kind of adjustment i've made for this guy.

You know not one moment did I cry or look sad in front of his face. I thought to myself, maybe i don't really care? I kind of worried myself, because truth be told... I do care! It's just my feelings were hard to express when i was with him cause i felt there was nothing to worry about. On the plane back home and in the car with my best friends.. I just let it out. I cried like there was no tomorrow.

I have so many memories of him. How slightly chubby he is (lol) or us holding hands while I tore the streets with the rental car he got for me; Waking up to each others faces, and our hands still interlocked (wth?) haha; Him making me dinner with a pie that said my name on the front and taste delicious; grocery shopping while I sit on the front of the trolley while he pushes me around through each isle; and how when I ask him questions, he has the answer to everything.

I miss every time I had with him.

and then the radio here played a song that made him cry in the car on the way to the airport. I know I should've been in the same mood he has but my hand was busy putting fingers up at people on the road and swearing at them through the window. His town sure has crazy drivers that burn the fire in my eyes

"Now don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.."